Fuyu Moments #16 – Traditional Herbal Oils

I grew up understanding that herbal oils would make my muscles ache lessen, and my stomach aches feel better. Based on my childhood, I grew up loving the smell of the herbal oils. When I was young, I didn’t really like it, but as time went on I began to enjoy the smell and appreciate it. The smell to me was reassuring. That all would be better in a short while. Today, I had a stomach ache and I put a healthy dose on my stomach before heading out to university.

I forgot how prominent the smell was and could smell it on my clothing while on the train. If I could smell myself, it meant that people around me could smell me. I felt a bit self-conscious for a quick moment, but got over it quickly. It’s just medicine and it smells like peppermint oil. I can’t think of anyone that would be opposed to that and if anyone did think it smelt bad to them then I’m sorry, but that’s life. I can’t go out being overly considerate to everyone to the point that it’s ridiculous.

Of course I wasn’t being a jerk about it. I would keep my distance from people around me in case they were sensitive to smells like that. My liquid courage to continue on with my day instead of changing my clothing came from a lady I encountered on the train a while back.

I was sitting on the train heading to university. The seat beside me was empty, but was quickly filled up by a middle-aged woman. I was fine with her sitting beside me, after all, it’s nice to share. After a while I noticed a familiar scent. It was the calming scent of herbal medicine oil. I took a glance at her to see if she cared what I or anyone thought. She didn’t. She sat there calmly while deep in her thoughts. All I could think of was “I’m glad she’s getting medicine to help whatever she is experiencing right now,” and enjoyed the familiar scent of the oil. When she got off, it seemed like everyone parted around her more than they normally would for someone. Maybe they smelt her too, but you know what? She didn’t care at all.

Whenever I get anxious about things like that, I think of that woman on the train and feel better. There’s too much in life to care about what other people think. As long as I’m focused on myself and my well-being, it’s okay. Of course there are limitations on it. I’m not saying to be selfish, just telling myself not to care what strangers think of me.

What do you guys think? Have you guys experienced something similar to this?

I think I’m going about my thoughts the right way, but if you think otherwise, I’m happy to hear your thoughts. :D

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5 thoughts on “Fuyu Moments #16 – Traditional Herbal Oils

  1. ToreishiNoblesse

    Anytime I dress up. I get hyper self conscious I hate it. I won’t generally do it unless my other half is around so I won’t feel as flustered or nervous if anyone check me out. I’ve become so good at ignoring it I don’t notice when I’m out with him but when alone I want to crawl under a rock. I hate attention. I don’t dress up for it I dress up because I like my style and want to feel pretty, not get ogled by creep schrapnel. ><

    Liked by 1 person

    • DrAwkto

      Yeah I totally know how you feel.

      Unfortunately, that’s the situation we live with. I was told by a few friends in hopes they could reassure me was that “No one is paying attention to you. No one has the time to judge you or ogle your clothing,” when they put it that way, it sounded helpful, but doesn’t change the fact that I’ll still feel like it happens.

      I used to hate dressing up so much. I would get attention and feedback from friends because it was different than I normally am. And it bothered me. Couldn’t I feel pretty when I felt like it?

      It gets better over exposure. At least that’s what I think at least. Once enough exposure happens, and enough self-confidence is gained, these things start to matter less. (Or so I tell myself. ; ; as you can see I still have issues. haha.)

      What do you think?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ToreishiNoblesse

    I think it does idk. maybe for other people. I have anxiety in crowds and my ex from way back gave me a complex that ‘wolves will eat me’ so that I would never want to be around other men/people and stuff. he was pretty controlling so my anxiety around people is likely much more deep seeded. My fiancee said if he ever met my ex he would punch him lol he hates seeing me like that. If I’m with my ducky or my best friend I’m okay but otherwise I would prefer not to dress up or have a no-makeup day to prevent an anxiety attack.

    Liked by 1 person

    • DrAwkto

      That makes sense. I understand what you mean. My parents were similar too. Wolves will eat me mentality, even having guy classmates were an outrage. Anyone getting close to me called for some scene and it was honestly embarrassing and stunted me.

      I would punch your ex too. People like that make me angry. I come from very controlling relationships as well, so I have issues with emotions and etc because my emotions were basically controlled by the others and I couldn’t be allowed to feel how I felt.

      Guess in the end we all have similar stories and experiences with trauma.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. ToreishiNoblesse

    Ha. My parents were def not like that! They were more like: “Here’s a juice box, a pellet gun and an old bike. See ya in 9 hours.”
    I know EXACTLY what you mean with that! Some guys are just dicks they are never the problem it’s everyone else’s fault. The plus side of bad relationships is I’ve learned that, arguing with them is like telling a colourblind person the sky is blue.
    Once I realized that I stopped having bad relationships because basically, I have no patience for stupid anymore.

    Like

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