Fuyu Moments #5

Have you ever sat down to evaluate the people around you?

 

It seems lately that people I thought I could become closer with are more interested using me as a rubber ducky; someone to talk at and be listened to rather than to listen. I trusted them. I tried opening up with other topics and issues, and they called it a cry for attention or attention-seeking. A surprising and interesting opinion, but sure. Whatever floats their boats. Anyways, somehow opening up about my own life issues is a cry for attention, but somehow they believe their own actions are not. Makes me wonder. Why is it that they find it okay to continue speaking about their problems and not even bother showing empathy for the other?

 

Recently I noticed very often that a few friends have been taking advantage of the relationship and rather talk about their problems non stop. There are more to life than a constant focus on negative aspects of life. I believe I written a post in the past about complainers. My thought process still stands true. No one likes a complainer, yet most people are complainers. Hmm interesting right?

 

This has definitely reminded me that humans enjoy talking about themselves more than listening to others. There are exceptions to this of course, and it’s obvious when you found a friend that will openly talk about their problems as well as offer support for your own.

 

So, do you guys have any stories or came across a similar situation like this?

 

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5 thoughts on “Fuyu Moments #5

  1. rakioddbooks

    I used to be in the same situation as you before until I turned things around. I started talking about me, me, me and stopped caring a bit less about their concerns. In other words, I became more selfish. I’m not saying this is a good thing because being selfish generally isn’t, but I am a lot happier :P
    I also love to complain, but I like to complain the unimportant stuff. I find it fun actually to complain let it out and then move on. When it comes to real issues though I usually keep them to myself. I like to think things through and figure things out on my own. In the end, I know myself better than anyone, I think I’m the most qualified to solve my own problems. But! I do have a friend who is willing to listen to me whenever I really need to talk! So yay!

    Liked by 1 person

    • DrAwkto

      It’s great to have that one friend. I’m the same too. That one friend is there for me, just as I’m there for her. any time any day. even on the toilet. Well. … actually yeah. LOL but we tease each other if we’re in that position.

      I used to like complaining about the little things as well, until I realized how it made me feel and how others started to feel around me. I toned down my little complaints and I keep the big issues to myself to muddle over until I’m ready to get a second option.

      I like how you went about this. I find it hard to be selfish though. Sometimes I have to be when no one wants to speak up during events on what they wish to do. After events where I had to take lead, I feel like I acted out of turn. :C it’s a sad battle.

      I think a little selfishness in people is a good thing. It shows others that you do care for yourself and will sometimes do what you need to do. Nothing wrong with it. hehe

      Liked by 1 person

      • rakioddbooks

        This reminds me of something that happened on a short trip to Japan with my friends. I went with two friends and one of my friends and I talked about where we wanted to go and do etc. The other one didn’t say anything. I assumed that she wanted to do the same things as us and that’s why she didn’t say anything. But at the end of the trip she was really sad that she didn’t get to go where she wanted to. I asked her why she didn’t say anything. It’s not like we were going to tell her “no, we don’t wan to do that.” It was OUR trip. The THREE of us. I think she might have also felt out of turn because she always puts others before her and frankly, it pisses me off sometimes. I don’t like the way other people take advantage of her sometimes. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that you should feel comfortable telling your friends what you want. And if they don’t like it when you do, then that’s on them. That’s just not what friends should do. Friend time is very much US time (unless it’s like trying-to-cheerup-a-certain-friend time) not Me and my lackies time. Hmph!

        Liked by 1 person

        • DrAwkto

          Wow. That event that happened to you is what happened between me and another frined of mine too. Instead of telling me she was upset we didn’t do what she wanted, she went somewhere else to share her discomfort. It’s like “dude! no one is a mind reader be straight forward, yo!” And yes I do talk like that irl sometimes. LOL it embarrasses my friends though.

          anyways, yeah i get the same feeling when people are taking advantage of my nicer friends. Sometimes being too considerate is a downfall as well. :C

          Was she more vocal with you after you told her what you thought?

          Liked by 1 person

          • rakioddbooks

            No, she says it’s difficult for her to be a little more meaner/selfish. She realizes when people take advantage of her but that’s who she is. She would feel bad other wise and I guess that’s worse to her.

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