Some random ramblings about rants. You’re welcome to read further. It’s just a more personal post on my thoughts. And who knows, maybe it’ll help you too. The past few days has brought this topic to mind. I’ve been reflecting on myself recently and how I interact with my friends. Earlier this year, I realized that I get carried away with my rants, and I wanted to stop. I also wanted to stop complaining because I was sick and tired of listening to other people complain about the little things. There is more to life than what they’re complaining about. Therefore, I didn’t want someone else to have to deal with my complaining, especially after how I saw complaining affected me.
For most of my friends, they all understand that I’m a pretty good person to go if they want someone to listen. I’m always happy to lend a listening ear. I’m not necessarily good at giving advice or solutions, but I am decent listener. That being said, I do tend to drop everything down just to be there for them. Good thing is none of them tend to take advantage of this. So if someone approached me with their issues, I would sit quietly and listen. If I have any thoughts or comments on their situations I would try my best to share them as delicately as possible, just in case it wasn’t what they wanted to hear.
I realized that despite me trying so hard not to rant, sometimes I fall into that darkest pit of myself and I need rant. The rants will just come out and I hate it, but it’s human nature. Well the very least it’s my current nature. Now, I’ve noticed that when I do need someone to return the favour and listen to me. No one is there for me. And that sucks. But it’s a sign, it means that I shouldn’t have been ranting in the first place. So I broke this down and I figured out some questions to ask myself.
- What was I ranting about?
- Was it important? Or was it something small and didn’t deserve to get a rant? Was it immature for me to rant about it?
- Immaturity was a new insight that I recently just found out about. I didn’t realize that rants could be immature. What defines an immature rant?
- Was the rant an excuse to throw my emotions around at someone and force them to feel the same way as me?
- This was something shared to me a while back. I didn’t really understand how until it happened to me.
- One day I was listening to a rant and the person was shoving their emotions at me. It felt terrible, I felt the negativity that they felt. And they didn’t understand that they were making me feel terrible too. However, I never told them because it would have done more harm. I just accepted the emotions, took a deep breath and continued listening because at that moment, I understood that they needed someone to listen to them. They needed a friend.
- Abandoning a friend in need because their emotions were affecting me in the short-term is not a good excuse. I knew I had to be there for them and that’s what I did.
- Because of this mentality I have the same understanding that my friends would do the same, but that’s not case.
- If my emotions are affecting them, they would run and hide, or ignore my issues until I calmed down.
- Was I using the rant as an outlet to express a deeper anger or negative emotion I had?
Usually when I ask myself these questions, I figure the answer to it and I usually conclude that I didn’t need to rant. Or at the very least, I didn’t need to share my thoughts with someone else. It doesn’t help them at all. In fact, I should be ashamed for ranting to them.
Just because I offer to listen to someone else, doesn’t mean they’ll do the same for me. And that’s the reality I have forced myself to accept. That being said, I’m not going stop offering to be there for someone. Heck, I’ll listen to a friend in need regardless of the premise of their rants. The rant can be immature, them throwing their emotions around, or just an excuse to let out a deeper anger over something else. Call me stupid, but I’m still going to be who I am. Just someone who rants less that’s all.
I’ve seen people replace me for others because of who I am, and well that’s fine with me. If I didn’t have the qualities they needed from a friend, I won’t stop them from finding someone else. No hard feelings. By the time I’m done with myself, I won’t need someone to listen because I won’t need to rant anymore.
What do you guys think about this? Do guys rant?
Is it wrong for me to always be there for them? Is it wrong for me to think I could have ranted to them? Was it wrong to rant in general?
What are guys’ thoughts? I would love to hear what you guys think about this.